CW: Depression
Blerkgh. Yesterday was not fun. It ended up being a mash of responsible work and mindless screen time. I powered through all of my meetings. I also watched our annual required compliance training — bad acting in mostly common sense scenarios was oddly soothing. It counts towards my PMP certification so bonus. Plus — my house is supes clean and that calms anxiety.
I went to bed early and slept mostly well given how hot it is in Seattle right now. The weather is not helping my mood.
I woke up still feeling heavy. Not hollow, not tightly wound, I’m willing to be touched or hugged or whatever. I might hesitate. Deep down I know that kind of gift would be warm and healing.
I got myself out of bed and into the gym, often times moving will help, it did a little today. I got to the office, had some conversations, getting stuff done, had Friday burrito bowl.
Tomorrow I’m hanging with a fabulous friend on the lake in her boat. Cheese, fruit, sweets, rose-all-day, maybe sun, many other boaters and the Blue Angels (Happy Seafair!)
So slowly, it’s moving along. If you have reached out to me in the last day, if I have connected with you, or even if you just thought about me… Thank you. It helps.
Not being alone in my depression helps.
I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
